Comedy of the Races!

It's a topic that we don't usually like to venture into in this country. Indeed, history (and the present) does not always paint the prettiest of pictures. But in my world, it was become a topic of healthy, cramp-in-my-side comedy in and outside of the office.

Being one of three people of color in my company, it is a funny side-topic that often comes to surface. In the most serious tone, it is obvious that the paths into certain professional niches in this country are not as 'equal opportunity' as the ideal would be. The tacit understanding among those of us that 'got in' is that we have a privilege that others in our situations do not have. To be sure, we express feelings of gratitude, not entitlement.

Nevertheless, instead of dwelling on our differences - we make fun of them! Since the summer, I have been teasing members from my team of being embodiments of the now famous blog, Stuff White People Like. ZMW bought me the book the other day for laughs as I attempt to quell the inevitability of stress from time to time.

Below are some of my favorites. Why? Because they're true.

Stuff White People like:

Religions Their Parents Don't Belong To - White people will often say they are "spiritual" nut not religious. This usually means that they will believe in any religion that doesn't involve Jesus. The most popular choices include Buddhism, Hinduism, Kabbalah, and, to a lesser extent, Scientology. A few even dip into Islam, but that's much rarer, since you have to make REAL SACRIFICIES and actually go to a mosque...

Organic Food - Because of the balance of global wealth and power, there is a general assumption that white people are pretty shrewd. And for the most part, history has proven this to be true. But white Popel have on great weakness: organic food...in spite of the fact that most organic food is made by major agribusiness, which is just uses it as an excuse to jack up prices, white people always lose their mind for organic anything. Never mind the fact that if the entire world were to switch to 100% organic food tomorrow there would be mass starvation and famine.

Diversity - White people love ethnic diversity, but only as it relates to restaurants...they talk about how great it is that they can get sushi and tacos on the same street but they will also sent their kids to private school with other rich white kids so that they can avoid the "low test scores" that come with educational diversity.

Asian Girls - (!!!!) 95% of white males have at one point experienced yellow fever. Many factors have contributed to this phenomenon, such as guilt from head taxes, internment camps, dropping the nuclear bomn, and the Vietnam War...Asian girls date white men to get back at their strict traditional fathers. There is also the option of dating black guys, but they know deep down that this would give their non-English-speaking grandmothers a heart attack....Another factor that draws white guys to Asian women is that white women are jealous of them. Take for instance, the fact that Asian women well into their 30s and 40s retain teen or college-girl looks without the help of Botox, yoga, or a trendy diet...

Yoga - Though its roots are in India, the global tree of yoga has most of its branches in rich white neighborhoods. Yoga has been so thoroughly embraced by white people because it requires a large amounts of money and time, two things white people have a lot of. Yoga is essentially stretching with guidance. Advanced yoga is just regular yoga in a very hot room.

For those of you who are too insulted to say anything, don't worry: as an Asian, I am engaged to a white guy, am really smart, can't speak English too well, eat TONS of rice, act EXOTIC all day long, fan myself when I'm hot (instead of turning on an air conditioner), take tiny 'geisha' steps when I walk and enter rooms to the sound of a GONG.

:)